The Chronicles Of Nay

If you don’t know me there are some labels that define who I am. two of the labels that define so much of who I am at this point in time are first generation and PhD student. You might be thinking out of all the labels why are you focusing on these? Well let me tell you! I was talking to Amber a couple weeks ago and Katy the week before and I was stress dumping all of my concerns and frustrations and anxiety about what the weeks, months and semesters to come will look like and bring. Both of them stopped me and asked me to explain some part of my rant to them. Made me stop and think: this process is complicated and I am supposed to know what I am doing! So I thought I would take a few blogs and maybe try to clarify the process. Or at least as much as I understand! haha so stay tuned. I don’t know how many bogs it will take but this is the first one! Let’s begin:

4 years ago if you had said that in 2027 I would have a masters degree and a PhD I would have laughed at you! I would have laughed at you for a few different reasons.

1. Financially it did not make sense to stay in the district I was in and acquire a masters degree or no way a PhD. The district I am in gives about $1500 a year to have a masters and about $3000 for a PhD. and you are like dang not bad. But think about it, that is just over $100 a month. That would nowhere near cover a student loan payment!
2. I was very content in the classroom. I love what I do! I feel like I was called to be a middle school teacher. There are frustrations that go along with any job and I get frustrated but I absolutley love what I do and had no intentions of leaving the classroom.
3. I don’t know people that have PhD’s!

Once Molly convinced me to get a masters degree everything fell in to place. I was very fortunate that I was awarded a very generous scholarship through the Andrews Institute for Research in Mathematics & Science Education that allowed me to not worry about that student loan “excuse” that I had. I give one of my classmates, Tamela, credit for my being in the PhD program.

There are a few programs that TCU offers, I do not know if other universities offer this. TCU has what they call an accelerated masters program I am not sure all the details but what I know is that they get a bachelors and then take one more year and then get a masters too. One day we were doing advising with Molly. Tamela was on zoom and I was in person and she asked Molly, since we are in classes with PhD students as masters students, we are learning the same information, and the papers the masters students write are what 5 pages smaller, is there anything like the accelerated masters program for the PhD program? Molly said she didn’t know and that she would have to look in to it and a seed was planted.

The rest is history. Well I say that like I was like Stone Cold Steve Austin. I was not.

There were a few reasons why I wasn’t just “hell yeah!”

1. Again the money. I was pretty sure I could apply for and get the scholarship I had for the masters.
2. The why? And the “then what?” If I got this would it take me away from the classroom before I was ready? Would I want to still teach middle school with that kind of degree?
3. Probably the biggest problem. Could I even do it? I have no idea what I am doing! I don’t know the process the rules the culture. Am I smart enough? Can I do this and still teach? Can I handle everything?

(If you don’t know by know… I do love a list!)

I applied to the program the February before I graduated with my masters and found out pretty quickly that I was accepted and that I got the same scholarship. This was the easy part! When I told my dad he said what are you going to do with that? I said when I walk off in a huff and someone shouts “ma’am?” I am going to turn around and say “That’s Doctor!”

I think that is it for now. This is a great start! haha I have an idea of what I will do next. If at any point I skip a part or I still don’t explain anything let me know! I hope that everyone is having a great week and you continue to have a good week!