The Chronicles Of Nay

Happy Friday! I hope that everyone has survived the week! I hate short weeks! They feel longer than regular week and the kids are always CRAZY! Then I don’t know what happened in my classroom but it has turned in to the arctic tundra! One of my kids said “Ms it’s colder than Antartica in here!” I said “I have never been there I don’t know how cold it is… have you?” He said “only in my dreams and I imagine its not even this cold!” I mean he might not be wrong! haha the bottom line is it is colder in my room than he could have ever imagined! I mentioned it to the construction guy and he said that he would have one of his guys look at it this morning. It was still pretty cold.

I am not writing this blog for pity, or for you to worry about me. I am not writing this as a poor me. This is for educational purposes. I know a lot of you have been coupled up for a while. So here is a single persons perspective about a few things.

I have been single for a really long time. Thats not the problem, I have a nice routine! haha Being single doesn’t mean there is something wrong with me. It doesn’t mean that I am too picky. It doesn’t mean that my standards are too high. It doesn’t mean that I am too busy. So, Please stop telling your single friends that these are the problems. Please stop telling your single friends it will happen when we least expect it. Please stop telling us that I have to be comfortable being single before we will find “our person” or it will happen in God’s time. Stop telling your single friends they should get off of dating sites/apps if you aren’t trying to hook them up with anyone! Stop telling them they need to put themselves out there. Also stop putting your beliefs about how life should go on them, their timeline is not your timeline. A few things to ponder:

• I have high standards for myself why would I not hold the people that I spend time with to those same standards. Especially a future partner! So maybe I am “too picky” but that is their problem not mine!
• You mean to tell me that every person in a relationship was “happy being single” first?
• For the record I am pretty comofortable being single. Actually that might be a problem, I am too comfortable!
• I personally am not one just sitting at home, how much more “out there” do you think I should be putting myself!?
• In the words of Kesha: I buy my own things, I pay my own bills, These diamond rings, my automobiles Everything I got, I bought it Boys can’t buy my love, buy my love, yeah I do what I want (she does), say what you say I work real hard every day……. There is more to that but you can look up the song! I don’t need a guy!

I can be comfortable being single and still be lonely. I don’t need a guy for my life to be complete. What I am saying is that being single comes with different challenges. For one, I am no ones priority, and there is nothing wrong with that I am not telling you that so that you feel bad. I don’t have a built-in emergency contact. Oftentimes my emergency contact is a local adult that knows what I’m doing, where I am going and isn’t on the trip I’m on with me. I don’t have someone to share in the mental load with. What to make for dinner, all on me. What to get at the grocery store, all on me. When to get an oil change, all on me. How to get home from an eye doctors appointment where they dilated my eyes, all on me.

Often times your single friends are forgotten when it comes to celbrations. If they don’t plan the event then it doesn’t happen. Think about the last time your spouse got a promotion or heck even had a birthday! There was a celebration that they didn’t plan. They didn’t have to make the reservation, they didn’t have to do the inviting, they didn’t have to plan how to get there.

I have a methodically curated group of friends that I know when I call, if they can, they are there to help celebrate, to drive me to the airport. I am not saying i don’t have those friends, what I am saying is check on your single friends! Maybe plan a celebration for them that all they have to do is show up. Maybe also stop asking them why they are single. Perhaps stop trying to figure out what is wrong with them.